Encyclopedia – Influence

What sometimes happens is that after NLP training or coaching one’s life improves considerably and a negative reaction to this sudden change is coming from friends and family. What is happening is that they themselves have issues and the person who has overcome his problems is now a mirror to them showing them that they have some responsibility for their misery. For that insight they blame the other person.

One’s own path. – If we take the decisive step and enter upon the path which is called our ‘own path’, a secret is suddenly revealed to us: all those who have hitherto been our friends and familiars have imagined themselves superior to us, and are now offended. The best of them are lenient with us and wait patiently for us soon to find our way back to the ‘right path’ – they know, it seems, what the right path is! The others resort to mockery and act as though one had become temporarily insane, or they make spiteful allusions to the person they suppose to have misled us. The more malicious declare us to be vain fools and seek to blacken our motives, while the worst former friend of all sees in us his worst enemy and one thirsting for revenge for a protracted dependence – and is afraid of us. – What are we to do? My advice is: to inaugurate our sovereignty by promising all our acquaintances a year’s amnesty in advance for all their sins.

Daybreak paragraph 484

Judgments are a form of the lost performative and as such part of the metamodel within NLP and a distortion of our communications when they are not accompanied with the person who is doing the judging.

Also, there is the tendency to condone judging. Which is of course a contradictio in terminis.

Judging is our oldest belief, our most habitual holding-to-be-true or holding-to-be-untrue In judgement our oldest belief is to be found, in all judging there is a holding-to-be-true or holding-to-be-untrue, an asserting or denying, a certainty that something is thus and not otherwise, a belief in having really ‘come to know’ – what is believed true in all judgments? What are predicates? – We have regarded changes in ourselves not as such but as an ‘in-itself that is alien to us, that we only ‘perceive’: and we have posited them not as something that happens but as something that is, as a ‘quality’ – and invented for them a being in which they inhere, i.e., we have posited the effect as something that effects and what effects as something that is. But even in this formulation, the term ‘effect’ is still arbitrary: for of those changes that take place in us and of which we firmly believe we are not ourselves the causes, we only infer that they must be effects – according to the inference: ‘Every change has an author’. – But this inference itself is mythology: it divorces what effects from the effecting. If l say: ‘Lightning flashes’, I have posited the flashing once as activity and once as subject, and have thus added on to what happens a being that is not identical with what happens but that remains, is, and does not ‘become’. – To posit what happens as effecting, and effect as being: that is the twofold error, or interpretation, of which we are guilty. Thus, e.g., ‘The lightning flashes’ – ‘to flash’ is a state of ourselves; but we don’t take it to be an effect on us. Instead we say: ‘Something flashing’ as an ‘in-itself and then look for an author for it – the ‘lightning’.

Notebook 2, autumn 1885 – autumn 1886 paragraph 84